i was listening to a comedian on the radio and it really made me think about something that i do every day that is really rude. i talk on the phone all the time, and sometimes i even answer it while i am supposed to be talking to other people… like real people right in front of me. now i believe half of all sarcasm is truth, kind of an idea that i have always had, so when this comedian started talking about this… and i found my self not laughing i figured it was time for a little self evaluation. my phone is very important to my job. that is how i communicate with customers and the conduit through which i receive requests for my services (i sound like such a hooker, which i pretty much am, but that is another day and another post). what this comedian was saying that was just a generation before mine the hone was a nuisance. now we treat it like our lifeline to the world. i am guilty of that more than almost anyone i know. he was saying that when he was growing up people fought over who’s turn it was to answer because nobody wanted to. it would ring 15 or 20 times at his house and apparently from what he was saying, it still does. i can count on one hand the number of calls that i have let roll to voicemail this week… i can count how many i have let go this month. granted it is only the ninth of december, but i never let the phone ring. at home i am just as bad. if it rings i must answer it, i will break my neck sprinting for the phone. the only time this fat boy moves faster is dinner time. i do not know where my generations compulsion with the phone comes from., but i have decided i am going to have to work on it. i know it has to anger whomever i am standing there talking to for my phone to ring and me to answer it. to be honest i have never really considered how rude that was, but from this point forward i am going to make an effort to give my full attention and respect to whomever i am standing there talking to and let the phone ring and go to voicemail. why else would we have voicemail if we were not going to use it. i am also going to stop breaking my neck to answer my phone after 5. from 8 to 5 i do a very good job of getting to the phone, answering, and returning customer calls. it is my job to do so and i will continue doing so, but i get a lot of non-work related calls as well, and if you are one of those people and are reading this i am sorry but if you get my voicemail leave a message and i will call you back as soon as i can. not only is my bill astronomical but i have gotten to the point where i dread hearing it ring. i have got to back off of the phone usage so that it becomes a tool (as it was intended) instead of a distraction that i let feed my a.d.d.. also, i make a lot of calls when i am driving/riding in the car just to have someone to talk to. blah blah blah i know i know dangerous, i don’t need a lecture. what i have realized as i do this, and i see others doing this is as i drive… is, what did we do before we could have someone constantly in our ear entertaining us? why, we were alone with out thoughts. i think we have all become fearful of being alone in the quiet to think. we keep ourselves occupied with constant distractions, our ipods, our cellphones, our radios, and cd players. we always have some kind of noise going to keep ourselves distracted. my challenge to you is next time you are in your car driving somewhere, turn off the radio and the cell phone and just drive in silence for a while. if you can get past the first fifteen minutes where you feel like you are going to go crazy you will find that the silence is wonderful. i have been testing this out and i find i think a lot clearer with the distractions turned off. i probably drive a lot better too. it has made it fun to drive again. i hear the sound of the engine, and the different sounds the tires make on different road surfaces. lately when i have been driving with jamie i have been turning everything else off and just talking to her. the other day we drove home from raleigh (three hours) without ever turning on the radio or the ipod and it was wonderful. she and ayden and i talked and had a great time the whole way home. at any rate, this is getting long and i have to get some rest. i just wanted to get the phone thing off of my chest, it has been bothering me for a few days and i am slowly making corrections to my behaviour… it is funny how self inspection can be brought about in the strangest of ways.
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In my opinion, the absolute worst thing is when someone is wearing a Bluetooth headset. They hear the call, but only in their ear, push the button to answer it, and just start talking. So at first I wonder if they’re talking to me, and reply, only to realize they’re now lost in another conversation, besides the one they were just carrying on with me right in front of them.
Considering the kind of work we both do, I think it is valuable to answer a call whenever possible. It gives a good impression of your responsiveness to whoever is calling you to fix their broken computer. As long as it’s during normal working hours and not interrupting another conversation already in progress, I’d say it’s OK. But when in the middle of talking to a real live human being, face to face, I usually look at my phone, see who’s calling, and decide if I really need to answer it then. Most of the time, the answer is no, but if I do, I at least excuse myself from one conversation before moving on to the next.
As for silence, it’s a beautiful thing. I probably spend half the time I’m driving, including my many trips from Durham to the BC, without being on the phone and without any music playing (or at least turned down so it’s just background noise). It’s good meditation. Now if I could only kick my new addiction to playing on Facebook while driving, I’d be less of a hazard to myself and those in the lanes beside me…